http://idiotsanonymous.net Wed, 06 Aug 2008 07:12:54 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The Australian Government has declared a state of emergency, as the closure of 61 Starbucks outlets has sent white people across the country into a state of panic. After the coffee giant announced that it would close a majority of its 84 "under-performing" outlets, white people took to the streets with ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/08/white-people-in-crisis-mode-as-starbucks-shrinks/ Tim Leonard, propreitor of the Old Bar Cellars near Taree, has found a novel new way to attract customers to his liquor store: by providing an authentic throwback to the 1930s. Mr. Leonard achieved this in February, when wrote a memo to his staff, detailing new rules pertaining to Aboriginal customers ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/08/tourists-flock-to-whites-only-time-warp-saloon/ You may be shocked to learn that I am sometimes capable of optimism. Considering I've been little more than a snide, self-satisfied wank for since time immemorial (as far as you're probably concerned) I guess that is a little surprising, but believe me, it's nowhere near as far fetched as ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/08/weekly-wrap-afl-peace-team/ In a shock move by the Beijing Olympic Committee, China has green-lighted the inclusion of a brand new Olympic sport just a week out from the opening ceremony of the Beijing Games. The sport of professional suppression will take place in Beijing's media department, over the two week span of the ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/08/beijing-green-lights-sport-of-suppression-for-games/ 22 years is a long time in show business: even longer when your medium of choice is the news. Dry, boring news. For Channel 9 stalwart Mike Munro, 22 years is long enough. After playing a pivotal role in the successes of such shows as 60 Minutes, A Current Affair, ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/08/outgoing-munro-angry-with-williams-happy-with-darfur/ United States presidential candidate Barack Obama has come under fire in recent times for espousing what has been referred to as holier-than-thou nonsense from atop a high horse named "optimism". However, the most recent criticism leveled at the Democratic candidate is that he's too thin to be a genuine representative ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/08/obama-too-skinny-to-be-president-say-fatties/ Are you in the mood to watch a truly surreal moment in Australian television? Then visit the ABC's Q and A website and watch the episode dated July 24. If you're too lazy to do that, then I may as well describe it, since any subsequent references would fly right ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/07/weekly-wrap-fallout-3/ Mark Gasnier, St. George-Illawarra's star centre and former face of the 2008 Rugby League World Cup, has begun preparations for his stint at French rugby union club Stade Francais by trying to fit into the lifestyle of an obscenely wealthy athlete that seems to earn money simply by standing there ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/07/gasnier-prepares-for-rugby-challenge-by-being-rich-lonely/ Single males across the country are rubbing their hands together in anticipation, as the new weapon in their war against bachelor-dom is ready to be revealed: Four'N Twenty's Magic Salad Plate. Rightfully touted as "miracle of modern science that completely eclipses such wonders as the telephone, the Polaroid camera and even ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/07/fnt-magic-salad-plate-gives-even-the-most-horrid-men-hope/ In the first show of cross-channel unity since the triumvirate of free-to-air crown jewels Eddie McGuire, Andrew O'Keefe and Rove McManus created a black hole of entertainment at the 2005 TV Week Logie Awards, the respective news bureaus of each network have unanimously voted long-time ABC reporter Andrew Lloyd the ... http://idiotsanonymous.net/2008/07/abc-reporter-voted-worst-human-alive-by-rival-broadcasters/